Are you looking for some unique or romantic ideas for Writing Wedding Vows?
Here are Melbourne Celebrant Julie Byrne’s Top 10 Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows.
Where do I start with writing my wedding vows? Melbourne wedding couples are writing (creating) their own wedding vows more than ever. When I started as a Melbourne marriage celebrant in 2008, many couples were happy with choosing from a collection of pre-written vows and reading from them or even repeating the words after me. Nowadays, brides, grooms, partners and couples are becoming more creative and daring when it comes to the moment they share their thoughts, hopes, dreams, and promises with their soon-to-be wedded partner. With my top 10 tips for writing your wedding vows, you’re sure to get inspired.
Have you ever watched a couple read personalised vows? There is nothing that can compare to how emotional and beautiful that moment often is. Guests are often left wiping tears of joy by the time they are done. The couple might even shed a few themselves. Or, there might be many moments of humour and realism we can all laugh about and nod at. This motivates many couples planning their wedding to capture their thoughts into their vows.
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As a result, customised wedding vows have become popular over time. So many couples choose to have personalised vows without quite understanding that it takes a lot. Writing the perfect wedding vows can be quite the journey. So how do the couples who have such amazing vows do it? How can you find the right words to promise each other forever? As a Melbourne celebrant, I’ve discovered a few tricks that help. Here are ten tips on how to write your own personalised wedding ceremony vows.
‘Create’ Your Vows
Before we get into the list, let’s talk about the word writing. As soon as many hear the term ‘writing’ your vows, memories of their year 9 English class come flooding back as they try and write a constructive analytical essay on ‘Romeo and Juliet’ without much success. Don’t let these negative memories shy you away from creating your own wedding vows. If you’re worried about spelling, grammar or punctuation, don’t. I can help you with all that. It’s the thought and meaning behind the words that are important. Think about it as ‘crafting’ them and pulling bits and pieces from different places to form a base and then you can begin creating them from there. So, what can you do?
Use My Resource Pack (and Google)
Also, Google! Read a stack of other wedding vows out there and pick out some sections or lines you like to add to your own, personal vows. Adapt and change where necessary.
Start Your Writing Early
Please don’t wait until the week or night before your wedding to write your vows. You’ll be so nervous and might not be able to share exactly what you mean. What happens if you find your mind blank upon picking up your pen or device?
Writing your vows early enough also gives you time to edit and make changes where necessary. If you write them with little time to spare, you’re prone to making mistakes that you won’t catch on time and not have them the way you want them.
Questions are Useful
Couples often find that after a few sentences, they don’t quite know what else to add. Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner! Everyone who writes their vows gets to this point unless they are a professional writer and already know the tip below.
Making use of questions while writing is a sure way to keep your pen or keyboard going. They’ll prompt your thoughts and remind you of all those loving things you haven’t included yet. Ask yourself why you want to be with your partner and not anyone else. What kind of future do you want to have with them? What do you love about them? What would you like to promise? These are types of questions that can help with your vow writing journey.
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Choosing a Theme Makes It Easier
Your wedding vows can have a theme just like your wedding does. Some lovely examples that couples have used over the years include unconditional love, passion, or humour. The key is to think about what best represents your relationship.
For example, do you both have an amazing sense of humour that always has you both laughing together? Then use that to your advantage. Are you both hopeless romantics? A theme helps you tie everything you’ve written together beautifully.
Keep it Real
You’re the only person that can do you, so, keep it real and be authentic. Stop worrying about what others might do and simply share what you have in your thoughts and heart. Your partner wants to hear your personality shine through your vows, not the greatest literary composition ever written! Trust yourself and get some feedback from this Melbourne celebrant to help you on the journey of creating your own wedding vows.
Be Kind to Yourself
Don’t become your biggest critic when writing your vows. You don’t want to end up feeling you aren’t making any progress and give up. Just keep in mind that you can always edit and make changes. It’s a process and you are not an expert anyways. Your partner will love it. They are marrying you, not the words you have chosen to say.
Short and Sweet or Epic Wedding Vows?
An excellent wedding vow is between 50 to 650 plus words (if you’re happy to talk for that long!) These may last around 30 secs to 3 minutes when you are sharing these on your wedding day, adding time for emotions and laughter of course. Make them the length you feel comfortable reading out. If you know that emotions, self-confidence or public speaking might hamper you, then keep them short.
Look for Inspiration
Creating and writing your wedding vows in a place where you can get inspiration might be the ticket. It could be where you had your first date, where you first kissed, favourite restaurant or holiday spot. Putting yourself in such a romantic and beautiful place could make your vow creation easier. You’ll certainly feel real and connected to your relationship memories.
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Consult Your Partner and Your Celebrant
This is not the same as asking them to read your entire vows or tell you what to write. Rather, it’s to get a feel of what kind of vow they’d love to hear. Maybe you both want to incorporate a favourite saying or start and finish your vows with the same line as each other. Or follow a certain format. You might want to clarify if anything is off-limits. Your partner might not want to hear too many personal jokes for example. If you need some more pointers, you could also ask me, Melbourne Celebrant Julie Byrne. Or your partner might have a few tips just like I do here. You might get some really invaluable ideas. Although, I do find, that most couples hit the spot when it comes to their vow creation.
Practice and Rehearse
One thing that many brilliant speakers have in common is knowing the importance of practice. Read your vows aloud in front of a mirror multiple times. You’ll get so used to it that you won’t have an iota of nervousness left when you finally say them at your wedding.
Another way to practice is to read it in front of a trusted friend. This could be your bridesmaid, best man, or even your celebrant. They’ll help you fine-tune it a bit more if necessary and you’ll get some more practice too. I will have them printed out for you, spaced out nicely in a decent-sized font on card so you can read them easily. Then not only will you have excellent vows, but you’ll also read them in the best way possible on the day in front of all your family and friends.
Writing and ‘creating’ your wedding vows might be a little challenging and no simple task, but the results are well worth it. You’ll have a special wedding that is personalised and memorable. So, get to pouring your feelings onto that paper or device for the best result possible for you and your partner on your wedding day. It’s a great way to make your celebration memorable and your spouse will be delighted too. Best of luck!
And I can help you out when you BOOK ME!